Tammy is a beautiful young woman with high moral values. She has a good job, an ever-loving mother, a caring best friend and a boyfriend. She has a very good job which takes up so much of her time though, she loves what she does. Out of her busy schedule, she has time for God as she is not just a leading member of the choir but also heads the church’s dance group.
On her boyfriend’s birthday, Tammy was so busy trying to meet a target at work that she couldn’t see her boyfriend during the day. At the close of work, she got a cake for her boyfriend, begged her best friend to take her to see her boyfriend but he declined. So, she went alone. When she got there, her boyfriend was so angry that she was just coming and began to accuse her of having an affair with her best friend. She denied it but he insisted and went on to rape her only to find out she was a virgin. He was sorry but the deed was done. Whether she was a virgin or not, did she deserve that?
Kelechi is a domestic staff for the Okafor’s. The Okafor’s include the father who is a business man, his house wife, four kids who are drug addicts and a complete write off to the society. The second son of the family is a sex addict and would even have sex with his sister. Whenever he is upset, he would always force Kelechi to his room and violently rape her. The more Kelechi begged him not to rape her, the more aroused he became. Kelechi never said a word to anyone for fear of being beaten by the boy. Kelechi being a domestic staff, did it make her less human? The boy getting upse, was it an excuse to rape Kelechi?
Mrs. Margaret may seem like a happy woman but a more intimate hang out with her would see the fear and worries written all over her. Mrs. Margaret is married to a man whose appetite for sex is huge and quite despicable considering that he would forcefully drag his wife to the room when she says no and have sex with her. He may go the first round and she pleads with him but no! he goes another round in different positions whilst the woman begs for her life. At the end she is sore, exhausted and can barely move. That her husband paid her bride price, does that give him the right to sexually abuse his wife and turn her into a sex machine to satisfy his own appetite?
All of these are rape cases with absolutely no excuse. They all deserve to be prosecuted, castrated and jailed with hard labour. No woman ever deserves to be raped, abused or assaulted. Even when some schools of thought have tried to justify a man’s lack of self-control to the woman who dressed ‘indecently’ or led the man on in some way, the point is, the woman did not consent to the act. So, it is rape. Should she consent under pressure or threat, it is still rape as she only agreed to engage in sexual intercourse based on the threat at hand.
According to brissc.org, rape is any form of unwanted sexual behaviour that is imposed on someone. ‘We place rape within a continuum of sexual violence that can take many different forms, including sexual harassment, verbal abuse, leering, threats, exposure, being forced to watch pornography, unwanted touching, incest, penetration, mutilation, and ritual abuse’.
While writing this piece, I spoke to a friend of mine who is a law student and she said that, ‘rape in some cases involves full penetration. However, some argue that, mere touching of the body is rape. Some also believe that merely assaulting the woman because she refuses to have sex even when there is no penetration, is rape’. Both men and women can be raped although; women are the most common victims of this assault.
There are various forms of rape; acquaintance rape, stranger rape, marital rape, gang rape, child sexual abuse and incest. All of these remain barbaric acts that should not be taken lightly but dealt with seriously.
It is in this light that V-day; a global movement to stop violence against women is putting together the 1 BILLION RISING on the 14th of February, 2013. They are inviting 1billion women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE and RISE UP to demand an end to violence. This initiative is dear to my heart and I ask that we all support the cause. It concerns all of us especially the women. 1 in 3 women in the planet will be raped or beaten in their lifetime. For more information on how to join the movement, click HERE. It is a revolution and we have only just started!
– Darmie Sijuwade
NOTE: ALL STORIES ARE NOT BASED ON ANY REAL LIFE CHARACTERS