Peradventure: Uncertainty

I have never thought of myself as a vain girl  but growing up,  I was not one to get overly  modest when someone paid me a compliment. If you like what you see and you expressed your thoughts by letting me know that I look good, I would readily reply with one of these: “I know”, “Thank you” or “I know”.

Then came this Saturday when I was having a really good day. It was one of those days when the sun is warm and having its rays on you accentuates  your best features. Days like this, you just feel good about yourself. It was while in that moods that I decided to send my ex an SMS. I just figured if I had to see him any time soon, it must certainly had to be today. Today that I’m looking all fine because one can never be sure of what tomorrow might bring.

Immediately, Bros replied. I thought to myself, “Hmmmm. no time for shakara. The brother must really miss me”. We continued the chat and in just a few lines, lunch date was set to be followed by a movie date. I was so thrilled. “Today is my day to shine”, I said to myself. Without wasting time, I settled down to iron my pretty dress before the power holders resume for the day. Dress and makeup took me a few hours and by 2:30pm, I was ready to meet my fine boy….. my fine ex boyfriend I mean to say.

We hit the road in no time and he began to play my favourite mixtape in the car. let me just say that I was only in the mood to hangout not neccessarily for a date. So, playing my favourite song, I figured that he might have thought we were on a get back together date. Not minding, I kept singing along to the tunes which was the 2face track, ‘If love is a crime’. All was quiet for a while until he broke the silence with the compliment, “You have lost weight and seem to be glowing”. I smiled and replied in my head saying, “My dear boy, it is on purpose o! Don’t think I have been so miserable without you that I wouldn’t eat or sleep”. When I didn’t respond, he continued patronizing me….. “I know what you are thinking. You think that I am just trying to yab you, abi? Your eyes never cease to give you away!”

The restaurant was an open kitchen thingy- my kind of restaurant. As soon as we got there, I expressed my satisfaction at his choice of his restaurant. Taking my hand sinto his and giving it a gentle squeeze, he says, “I knew you’ld like it”. We got down to eat and the food was equally very delicious. Fine boy was certainly on his A game today and I just thought to myself, “hope this was not a set up for a make up”. Just when I am trying to psychoanalyze his actions, he blurts out, “Kema, I’v missed you a lot and I don’t like this feeling. I cant keep wishing you are with me and missing you when I know we can be together, Wehn I know we can make this thing work. Look at us na! Look at ho happy you make me”. At thsi point, he shook his head and his face dropped.

All this time, I was quiet. I cannot deny my feelings for this fine boy cos I still think about him. I can’t help but always remember the times that we spent together as we always had something to laugh about but I left him for a reason. I cannot trust him ever gain. I wouldn’t call him a liar but he has been quite economical with the truth. What is a young girl to do when her guy leaves the room in the middle of the night to make calls in his car and comes back saying he was looking for some documents he misplaced earlier! What does a girl do when she sees text messages from girls on my boo’s phone saying, “this long distance is killing me and I miss your arms around them”. Fineboy never explained these things to me. If I ask him now, he is most likely to give me the adopted church sister format  saying they were  text messages to remind him of drama practice for the church thanksgiving and they were both playing the role of  Mary and Joseph!

I still remained quiet and allowed the moment to pass. Once lunch was done and we had allowed the food to properly digest, we set out for the cinemas. I picked “Star Trek” and while at the counter, Fineboy is way back talking to some lady; a quite buxom lady who is chatting away. I try to catch his eye to tell him I chose “Star Trek” for the both of us but he wasn’t even looking my way. Just then,  lady boobs walks to me and mutters something which I didn’t quite hear as I just saw her lips move and I think it said,  “Are you Tony’s cousin from the East?”.  l blink in disbelief and turn back to see Fine boy finally coming to buy the ticket. I Smiled and asked her if that was what he told her. She said, “Yes! , He said he is just showing you around because you’ve never been to lagos. How are you enjoying Lagos Dear?”…. “Oh Lord!” I prayed,  “please give me patience cos my left palm dey scratch me!”. It took all the self control that I had not to forget my left hand on this aunty’s face… make I show am say I be correct village cousin.

In the end, Silence is indeed golden. I got my movie ticket as the movie had already begun. Fine boy was saying something and walking towards me but I just kept moving. I can’t believe I have tears in my eyes for this young fool! Somethings will never change…..

IMAGE CREDIT: buzzsounthafrica.com