Controlling Your Tongue

Communication is an important tool in the building of any relationship or partnership. However, there are times when it is most advisable to keep shut- times when what you wish to say is most likely to cause so much havoc. Remember those times when you said something that heated up an arguement or completely demoralised the spirit of your listener? Now, picture how things would have turned out if only you had taken a moment to seal your lips and hold back your thoughts.

There are many times we have wondered why things didn’t turn out the way we expected them to. We point accusing fingers at everyone but ourselves, not realising that our utterances may have been the architect of our disappointment. For instance, you may have met an amazing guy and just after the first date, he never calls back. We completely understand that some guys can be jerks but, have you also considered that you just may have ruined the possibility of a second date by your inability to control your tongue? or that girl may be avoiding your calls because you said some rather dirty and unrefined when last you spoke that she never wants to have anything to do with you? The HR executives have also refused to give you a call back simply because you couldn’t stop blabbing away at the interview and they are afraid at how much you may be willing to divulge company secrets by saying too much. Pastors have lost members, businesses have collapsed and the list of disaster caused by the inability to control one’s tongue is quite huge.

A few times, I have heard people justify their inability to control their tongue by saying that they are blunt. In my opinion, being blunt is your ability to tell things the way they are when it is necessary as there is a thin line between being blunt and simply being lousy. Thus, you need to think deep on what you are about to say before you let it out in the open.

To help you control your tongue better, here are a few tips;

When you are on a date and get tempted to speak when you really should be listening,  excuse yourself and go to the bathroom for a few seconds. While you are there, take a deep breath so that when you come back, you can listen better. You can also think up something that will help change the topic if what he or she is talking about seems to be making you edgy.

When you are with a group of people and you wish to contribute to any conversation or even start one, weigh your words and consider its impact on the group when you say what you wish to say. Analyse how beneficial the information might be to the listener and how they are also likely to react to what you are about to say.

If you are at an interview, clearly consider the impact of what you are about to say on your resume before you speak out. Avoid telling lies and being boastful with your responses. Isn’t it  better to retain your integrity than to obtain a job with falsehood? Besides, humility is key!